I think I’m going to go on a hiatus everywhere: in tumblr, twitter, polyvore, thefandom.net, the Fireside Chat and everywhere else. But this time I’m gonna really try to make it last a while. 

I’ve had a tough year in many levels and my health isn’t that well, I’m going to stop taking my pills because I’m afraid I’ve been using them for a long time and I feel really tired all the time. So I think that maybe a pause from everything will be not only better for my head but also for my health, maybe less stress will be better for that too.

I know there were a lot of times you may have thought I was overreacting about simple stuff, but I’m in a moment in which I feel like I’m carrying a heavy bag over my shoulders for many reasons and any little thing makes me release all the feelings I try to keep inside. I’ve always been a very perfectionist person and I’ve always judged my own failure very harshly, but now I feel a lot of things over my shoulders for some reason, and I need to get away from everything for a while in case something silly and simple makes me feel worse, as it has happened before around here.

I apologize if in my behaviour I’ve cause someone anger, resentment or sadness; it was never my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings but sometimes I just can’t keep putting a smile on my face and hiding everything inside. 

I never talk about my “serious” problems on the internet, I don’t feel it’s right, I just rant about the silly stuff, so I won’t explain myself now too much. It’s not something drastic though, don’t worry, it’s a sum of a lot of stuff that’s been going on all through the year. I feel like since the very start things didn’t stop coming and I need to stop and start over in this one. I’ll also have an opportunity in my trip now, maybe a new location and fresh air will help out. There are so many things that I need to sort out and I feel like I have no energy whatsoever to do it right now.

So that’s why I overreact sometimes. And I apologize, it’s not right. I’m sure that for all of you out there it looks like I have so much time in my hands that I feel so bad about one macro or one mean feedback; but that’s like the last drop of a series of things that I’m not going to talk about because it’s not right for me to do so, it’s all personal.

That’s why I suggest all of you to not be too harsh on people around here, you never know how that person’s life is going and one hate message, one mean reblog, one annoying repost, one humiliating joke can be the last drop for a person who wasn’t all that well to begin with. We feel that the internet makes us powerful in a way, that it gives us a certain sheild of anonymity that allows us to say things in a way we’d never do in real life, to be more direct, more mean and less patient. But it hurts just as much, even if that person doesn’t “really” know us. It’s even more dangerous, because we ignore who we just attacked and which consequences that has in his or her life. The internet being free doesn’t mean it has to be used to fight, that’s a choice you make. You can take that as my “last advice” for a while. 

I wish you all a happy new year, wherever in the world you are, and I will be back when I’m mentally and physically able to handle everything again. I’m not going to solve all my problems in a month but at least I need to recharge. 

Thank you for reading this if you did and I’ll miss you =) I hope to see you still here following when I’m back.

With all my love,

Luly